The Stage, the Raven and the Heart

I have decided to formally apply to the Ancient Order of Druids in America, or AODA. The fifty dollar membership fee doesn't seem that high in return for the fellowship I will experience. I also feel the need for validity - it's great to say that I'm following the path of Druidry, and another to take definitive action towards my goal.

Seeing in the Dark

I was walking through the forest today-my heart revels in the greenery, the hidden twisted secrets in the roots of fallen trees, sunlight glancing through the ferns, illuminating. The sun causes everything to breath, and as I was walking through the woods, I could feel my heart open and for the first time in a long while, I was actually inhaling, exhaling. I found my voice, hidden in the quiet places of wood and stone, earth and tree.

In a clearing, I saw a stag with a large rack of antlers. He was grazing, and nibbling acorns off of the old oak he was standing under. A doe was partially hidden by oak, but when she appeared, it seemed complete. Male, female, sky, earth, sun, and moon. The stag lifted his wild head, and I felt an urge to run toward him, to run with him and his partner, to feel the earth underneath my feet and know that it is my home. He turned his head to glance back at his mate, and the feeling slowly sank into my bones.

I will run another time.

Rustling in the Undergrowth

I had to film a scene, and the setting was in some high, wild place in Scotland, or maybe Wales. My crew and I hiked up to the top of one of the luscious, rolling hills that surround my home, and I felt at peace. The grass was burnt straw, there were rocks scattered everywhere, perfect for tripping unsuspecting crowned apprentice Druids. The oak trees made the overlapping hills look like groups of rocks within a stream, covered by moss. A flock of wild turkeys gobbled along, a lone fir stood crookedly among its wiser elder oaks, a raven flew across the face of the sun, and the sky was a pure, cloudless blue. I finally began to get an inkling of what this land means to me, what it feels like to have your heart constrict with joy over the natural, overwhelming beauty of home, of land.

Hmm....

I was looking over a list of Celtic deities, to get a feel for them, so to speak. Bran jumped out at me, when I read his name I felt an electric tingling in my stomach. Later, when doing a reading with my Druid Animal Oracle cards, the Raven came up. The Celtic word for raven is Bran, and the Raven in one's life signifies prophecy, initiation, healing. Prophecy because the raven helps with clear sight, with seeing the ways through the forest that do not follow the winding path. Initiation, in Raven's words, signifies the beginning of something new, and it can be as grand or humble as the initiator wishes. New beginnings, basically. I wasn't too sure about the healing part, but my own feeling tells me that it is a reparation of old wounds, buried deeply within.

I will wait to see if Bran, or any of the Celtic deities wish to approach me. If they do not, so be it. I don't want to just "pick" a deity off of a list on the Internet. I want my relationship with deity to come from the soul.

Druidry: A New Path?

I have been researching Druid groups--the main ones that I have found are the American Order of Druids, and the Druid Network, as well as the Order of Bards, Ovates and _____. I have ordered Greer's Druid Handbook which is basically the First Degree Curriculum for the AOD. Their membership fee is $50. I have been thinking about membership, and what it means to me. In Kemetic Orthodoxy, their beginner's class was an introduction to the faith, a free one. In finishing that, and becoming a Remetj, and then a Shemsu, I climbed steps, traversed deserts and crossed the paths of time until I completed my own zen circle, painted on the floor in black ink. Now, I am hesitant to pay money to a group that I may or may not see in person ever in my life. There was a fee for my RPD, but that was in exchange for a service only able to be performed by Hemet(AUS). *henu* AOD's First Degree curriculum is detailed on their website and is completed by Greer's book, if not overshadowed by it. What then, would the fifty dollars be for? For the feeling of membership, of being a Candidate, which then would let me become a Druid Companion, and so on and so forth. I don't see the point of the titles, unless someday I wish to become a Druid priestess. Ok, so be it. I'll become a Druid, if it is the path meant to be tread by my eight and a half size feet, for free through books and nature, and my gods will let me know when the time is right to become a "member". Or not. I'm happy without needing to feel like I should progress to a "higher" rank. In KO, it isn't about rank anyway. And they are different paths.

I feel content. May my heart be at peace, my soul be at rest among the leaves of the Tree of Life. Until I have to get up for my Photography class. Oh well. <3

The Beginning

To introduce myself: I am black and white like an Oreo, I open my mouth and words flow out, but hoarse, as if I have been screaming all night-at a concert, dancing my heart out or on the beach, singing to the waves. Sweetness is a color, and that color is white. This blog will be a place for myself to record all and any thoughts about my spirituality, as it evolves and changes like the color of leaves when autumn comes. I have experimented with Wicca, with Ancient Egyptian religion, and am now becoming more and more interested in Druidism. I will set down my beliefs, my precepts, my art. I write, therefore I am.